Relationship Advice

Relationship Help and Advice Forum :: Partner advice what to do ?!

Author: Shaun E
Subject: Partner advice what to do ?!
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:51 pm (GMT 1)
Topic Replies: 0

Hi

I have been with my partner for around 5 months, I have known her for around 12years and she is 9years younger than myself, she has 3 kids 5, 4 and 18months, and I have the one 11 years old. I have never been able to accept her children I only see her when the children are with their dads or she has a babysitter.

The problem I have is, she never has much money so when I do see her at weekends we end up eating out which I end up paying for, she never has money for her gas / elec but will think about buying things for her children, I have told her that she has to control her money as I haven't got the money to pay when we go out, but she says she doesn't spend money only on essentials, I have just seen an email she is thinking about getting a kitten ! I haven't discussed this with her but feel the money for kitten food etc will pay for her gas / elec

How can I politely say that I can no longer afford to lend her money / pay to eat out every weekend without hurting her feelings?

Thanks

Boyfriend Problems Forum :: Commitment phobia or am I just not the one?

Author: ashleighcg
Subject: Commitment phobia or am I just not the one?
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 12:15 pm (GMT 1)
Topic Replies: 0

So I'm kind of new to this, but just need a bit of advice/opinions on a certain matter.

I was with my boyfriend for 5 months, he lives in london, me in birmingham, but that was never an issue, just had an amazing weekend with him as usual because I go down to his every week where he treats me,go out to dinner with his friends, this guy acts like he's crazy about me because he always goes out of his way to make me happy and says I really make him happy. I was planning on moving to London before I met him and he knew all about this and was actually encouraging me.

Now, a couple of days ago he dumps me, completely out of the blue, no warning or anything as we've never had a fight or anything. He states that he's been thinking, over 2 days, that when I move to London, he's not sure he wants to eventually move in with me. Even though he states our relationship is much much more than just fun, he comes out with that. We haven't even had the move in talk yet and I was going to London to study nursing anyway and planned on living in halls. This guy is 34, never married, no kids, longest relationship probably a year and I'm thinking to myself, is this the reason why he's been single for so long, because he does things like this? I've only been with him 5 months so way to soon for me to be thinking about moving in anyway. Any help would be really appreciated

Will my Boyfriend Come Back? Forum :: RE: Do I wait or is it truly over?

Author: jackbur
Subject: RE :
Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 9:10 am (GMT 1)
Topic Replies: 1

I have read your post and i can say that you should wait for your date.
Because every relation need patient and time.Along with it you must be understanding with your date.
_________________
Executive Search Dating

Boyfriend Problems Forum :: RE: Always arguing

Author: Alexina
Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:48 am (GMT 1)
Topic Replies: 5

first you stop arguing and say him yes you are right and put in last but....

Relationship Help and Advice Forum :: RE: is this too much by my girlfriend?

Author: Alexina
Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:29 am (GMT 1)
Topic Replies: 1

on her all post your comment is necessary. means to aware everyone in her profile you are her BF.

Relationship Help and Advice Forum :: RE: I cant keep these lies to myself, I feel so guilty :-(

Author: Alexina
Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:24 am (GMT 1)
Topic Replies: 2

you need to continue you friendship with your ex bf definitely once day he will realize your innocent feelings and love.

Marriage Problems and Marriage Break-Up Forum :: MARRIAGE DEAD?

Author: markintexas
Subject: MARRIAGE DEAD?
Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:50 pm (GMT 1)
Topic Replies: 0

I am a 50-year old man, married to my 55-year-old wife for 16 years. We have two adopted children, ages 8 and 11. Our marriage has been troubled almost from the beginning. This is my first, and her fourth marriage. We met and married after knowing each other only for about two months. We have not been very intimate and have both checked out emotionally over the years, especially after the children arrived. Our temperaments are different: I am easy going, she is argumentative and a pit-bull of sorts. We argue much and don't agree on raising the kids in certain areas. I know I have been prone to selfishness. She totally invested in the kids lives. I felt like all I got was leftovers. I just grew tired of the nagging and negativity and, sadly, I had an affair two years ago. The other woman was affirming, encouraging and very interested in me and a bright and beautiful woman. (She is divorced with two grown children.) I gave in easily. My wife eventually found out and we have been separated for the last 18 months. I see the kids about once a month (I live in a different state). Now there is talk about us getting the marriage back together, but I am afraid that nothing will change. I don't want to go back into a miserable marriage. (We have tried counseling various times over the years with no lasting results.) I am willing to hang in there for the sake of the kids, but I fear it will be back to the same old misery....being nagged, given little attention, no intimacy, etc., with a woman who, quite frankly, I do not find physically attractive. Am I selfish for wanting to be happy? Should I stay and try again to make this work, or at the age of 50 should I seek happiness with someone whose interests, temperaments are better suited to mine. I feel so pulled in two directions. I am afraid of how leaving will affect my precious son and daughter, but I am equally afraid of going back into an awful marriage with her again. I am so torn. Help!

Relationship Help and Advice Forum :: RE: I cant keep these lies to myself, I feel so guilty :-(

Author: Tatu
Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:00 pm (GMT 1)
Topic Replies: 2

well, you will have to tell the full truth if you really feel like you need to. You are saying he is still lovely to you so he sounds like an understanding type. Just be open with him and tell him exactly how you feel, he should appreciate that. Say it must have been a test for you and now you are more than ever convinced he is the one.
good luck

Relationship Help and Advice Forum :: By boyfriend is too strict with my son

Author: Tatu
Subject: By boyfriend is too strict with my son
Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 3:42 pm (GMT 1)
Topic Replies: 0

Hi
I have been with my boyfriend for a year after splitting up with my husband 2 years ago. I have a 6 year old son.
When I met my boyfriend he made great effort to bond with my son and they were having great time together.
My son is not a sporty type boy, he is quite slow and a bit strange one might say as he is not a typical boyish boy, he doesn't like playing ball or never wanted to ride a bycicle. He is quite and slow, more academic type I hope, although he is quite absent minded at school at the moment but I assume that is due to his age.
A few months ago my boyfriend asked me if he could act as a parent to my son and discipline him, I said of course. But since then he started treating him really strickly which I quess he needs at times but lately I think he's been really unfair to him. He put him on a naughty step another day because he couldnt play wee. He explained that he was playing fine and then just became too lazy to do it right. I am trying to protect my child as I think my bf is being too harsh on him. But I also want to keep my relationship. My bf has quite strong opinion about bringing up children (he has one of his own) and sais if my son is not pushed now he will be bullied at later life for not being able to ride a bike for example.
I asked him to step back and allow me to discipline him more but he is saying that he started it now and can't back off. Basicly it looks now like it's either him or my son.
I will stick with my ways of course but I still hope something can be done to save our relationship.
Any advise is welcome and if someone knows any specialist help line I can contact.
thanks

Relationship Help and Advice Forum :: can I get a girl back after verbally abusing her?

Author: jadedjs
Subject: can I get a girl back after verbally abusing her?
Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 11:15 am (GMT 1)
Topic Replies: 0

We started seeing each other for 3 weeks. We became close and then all of the sudden she started to back off. I didn't see her for a week although we spoke everyday, and I lost my patience and I accused her of seeing other guys. She told me she wasn't it and that I must stop giving her stress about it. But then it happened again and I became possessive and one night I drunk texted her and unleashed fury, and ended the run of insults saying **** you. I apologized the day after with a present, and she didn't respond. I sent her another message the next day and she didn't respond. I panicked and sent one more saying lets talk, she replied that I am a psycho and I have issues and that I must leave it. I bumped into her a week later and she said hi and walked away quickly. It has been almost a month and I havent contacted her. I still think about her and feel guilty. And I am not that kind of person, I dont know what came over me.
I want to get her back, its been a month! shall I send her a message saying how bad I feel? Or shall I send her a letter? Or go see her face to face and ask her to talk? I dont have much chance in getting her back but I need to at least try because she is worth it, but I dont want to look more like a psycho.

Low Self-Esteem and feeling down :: Lifetime partner

Author: priscillachong
Subject: Lifetime partner
Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 4:29 pm (GMT 1)
Topic Replies: 0

Hi,
I hope someone can help me with the situation that I am in.

I know my boyfriend for 10 months now. We study abroad and never got a chance to meet each other's friends/family in our home country.
We had so much of tiffs and quarrels as there were certain things in life that we have our own takes on.

We have both given alot of compromise into the relationship and the biggest problem is that we both can't see what we're both doing for each other.
Most of the time, we're just a mirror of each other when we fight. He accuses me for not trusting him, and says that I accuse him for things he doesn't think is wrong (in his perspective).

After being in our home country for so long, I have not met his family nor a single friend. I feel like I'm being in an underground relationship.
He stands still and says that his family, relatives and friends knows about me, and he doesn't want me to meet them because he only will do so only when he thinks that it's his lifetime partner.
I got offended by his words. he never was very good at saying things.
I then asked, (not surprising for a girl), if I weren't the lifetime partner and I'm just a fling? somewhat temporary to him?

He told me that we can't tell what's going to happen in the future as we both now have different path in mind after our studies. (leaving for different places)
He said that , he doesnt like that feeling when his parents question when a breakup happens.

This makes me feel like he's expecting one. I have lost my trust for this guy. He isn't trying to make me feel secure.
I know I have made the wrong moves in telling him these things (men calls it "nag").
But I cant help it. We've been shouting on the phone for nights and days. I can't talk to him anymore.

Can someone advise me upon this matter?

Online Sex Advice and Sexual Problems Forum :: Small...Equipment

Author: Tinyblu
Subject: Small...Equipment
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 1:37 am (GMT 1)
Topic Replies: 0

I have a MAJOR problem!!!

I have met an AMAZING man. I mean this man is marriage material. He's sweet, attentive... all the things a woman could ask for. After being patient with me and waiting until I was ready, we finally had sex, and it was SOOOO disappointing!

How can I say this? His penis is too short!!! I don't need 10 inches, but I do want pleasure, and this guy doesn't have the equipment to please me. Yes, the foreplay is nice, but when it comes to doing the deed... I want pleasure from penetration as well.

Not being one to throw the baby out with the bathwater, I researched some positions that could aid with this dilemma. He's so short that his penis pops out during those!!!! Our last sexual encounter was just frustrating, and it's gotten to a point where I don't lubricate anymore because I know there's not going to be a grand finale.

I don't know what to do! I can't talk to him about this. It would devestate him. It's not like he can grow a new one. I feel awful for considering dumping a guy for not being well endowed, but sex is important to me, and I want to be pleased.

Sadly, I briefly thought of calling my ex (who surely wouldn't turn down a booty call) just to get polished off.

Thankfully, this nice guy with the small penis seems open to toys, etc. but I hate to think that will be the only way I would get pleasure.

This is terrible. I sound shallow don't I?

Girlfriend Problems Forum :: Insecure. Help?

Author: farooq
Subject: Insecure. Help?
Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2012 11:12 am (GMT 1)
Topic Replies: 0

Hi,

I've been with this girl (C) for 5 1/2 months now. She's been my best friend for 12 1/2 months now though. Our relationship is quite complicated: basically it starts of with her having her heart broken by her first love 2 years ago. Then I fall for her and I eventually confess to her but she turns me down saying we're just best friends. After a while (3 months) she feels something for me. We had a talk and she said she doesn't want any commitments and because I was supposed to leave to study overseas she just wanted a 2 month fling. I was really head over heels for her and I knew I loved her already (she's my first love) and so I was okay with that. After a month into the relationship I tell her I love her. The week (2 months) I'm supposed to leave to study abroad (13 hr flight) she told me she loved me.

When I left the country I was left with the impression that things were over between us and I was very upset. I talked to her best friend and she said I should just make out with a random girl maybe I've just never experienced something else. So my first week in Uni I got drunk and slept with a girl, I felt horrible the next day as it's also the night I lose my virginity. I cried the next day but I didn't regret what I did because if I hadn't done that I wouldn't have realised how much I loved C. A few days or a week after that C and I decided that we'd do this long distance open relationship where when I'm back home we're completely together but when we're a part she and I can both do ANYTHING we want with other people BUT if we FALL for someone else it's over and we have to be honest about that.

A month later I just told her about what happened and she was quite devastated, she said she expected that to happen but not so soon. And the next time we talk she tells me JUST before we talked about being together she was sleeping, fwb, with a guy , she didn't have sex with him as she's a virgin, same as she hand't had sex with me or her ex-bf just up to oral sex. I decided to move past it and she said we'll talk when I get back if I want to. I decided I still loved her and continue our "strange relationship".

I decide to head home 2 1/2 months after studying abroad as I had a month long break. She gives her virginity to me and we've become more closer. I tell her that to me trust is the most important thing along with love as we're so far a part I just want to know I can trust her completely as I believe I am completely honest with her. She says she'll be honest with me only if I ask. So we have trust and love and all that. Also during this time she tells me the guy is my closest guy friend (my best friends are usually women). And the thing is this happened after I confessed my feelings to her the first time when she shot me down (last person I talked to before talking to her was this guy friend, so he knew EXACTLY how I felt) and she said she ended things as soon as she fell for me. Now I'm back abroad as my break is over.

Thing is I can't get over the fact that she slept with my closest guy friend. How could she as my best friend who knew how much I felt for her sleep with him?? Sure she was physically attracted but it's just hard to forget. And I'm not friends with the guy any more, he called me once when I was back (she gave him my number) and he apologised saying he's not really that person etc.. I just said whatever, you did what you did and it happened. Maybe you'll learn from this experience but you can't expect us to be friends any more. I wished him good luck with his life and really I didn't think I would have handled it that well. In my head I always imagined screaming him down and just being emotional about it. But yeah it's just painful to deal with this and on the side I just keep thinking she's so capable of sleeping with other people without caring because she just wants her freedom to try things because she believes it's in your 20s when you get to sleep around and after that it's 1 person. I agree but it's just I feel uncomfortable with it. I realise that I'm the one who slept with someone else when we were both IN LOVE but I don't know I just feel so insecure when I shouldn't. Since the nature of the relationship is to be free and do whatever we want we don't have to feel insecure but I do and it eats me up inside sometimes.

Thing is if I look back on pictures, videos and memories I can really tell she loves me and I don't know why I feel this insecurity.

Edit: Also, when she first told me it was him, she was trying to convince me lightly to be friends with him. She said it was all her, she made all the moves and he would never have such an idea in his head that she made everything happen. Which makes me imagine how she seduced him in a way and I guess makes me more insecure.

Relationship Help and Advice Forum :: I cant keep these lies to myself, I feel so guilty :-(

Author: marchaprilmay
Subject: I cant keep these lies to myself, I feel so guilty :-(
Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 7:27 pm (GMT 1)
Topic Replies: 2

Ive been with, well what was my boyfriend for nearly 4 years, it was last week i kissed someone else, i actually work with this person, but my boyfriend also works with us, I ended it with him the day after, ( we hadnt been great for some time, we both got too comfortable with each other and didnt make the effort anymore ) - i told him i kissed someone in town but i havent said who it actually was.. ive seen the person a few times (the one that i kissed) and i just cant keep seeing him, i feel too guilty, my boyfriend, well ex now is still lovely to me, i feel so guilty its untrue, i thought i had genuine feelings for this other guy, but now i just keep realising i love my boyfriend, well ex.. and i dont want to give up us being together for so long??? i want to be honest with him, but all 3 of us work together, i dont want to try and rebuild mine and my exs relationship without telling him the full truth, its eating me up inside, somebody please reply, im going out my mind as i cant tell anyone! im in desperate need of advice! :-(

Relationship Help and Advice Forum :: Do I move on or do I continue like this? Please Help!

Author: rajarshighosh
Subject: Do I move on or do I continue like this? Please Help!
Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2012 2:43 pm (GMT 1)
Topic Replies: 0

We've been in a relationship for about 2 years. She broke up with me last October. Since then we've had many fights.... the typical post break up ones, me trying to get her back. But she is adamant about being friends & says she loves me but doesn't want a realtionship. Infact she says, we cant be in a relationship ever again cause we are not meant for each other. BUT, she cant live without me. I love her a lot but... loving her without any future, being her friend with benefits... its very unsettling for me. Why doesn't she understand that? What do I do? Do I continue this way or move on from her?