My girlfriend met another guy and split up with me after we both got into a depression when our baby girls were born prematurely and died. She lacked affection and apparently found the perfect fairy tale guy to give her everything she needs. I have stopped every contact with her so we both can get on with our lives, while she goes on holiday every two months to see this guy. Every time she comes back she contacts me like crazy and wants me to comfort her. My future plans are to get away from all this completely while her idea to get on with her life is to have a baby with this guy and also spend as much time with me as possible. I think she needs serious help, but is it me who has to help her?

Hi,
i just want to encourage you to keep your plans and decision to move on. Under the circumstances you have described there is no need to keep any (emotional) contacts with her, if you still have these contacts with her, it can just stand in your way to move and heal from the break-up and the pain related to it. So my answer is: no, it is definitely not you who has to comfort her and provide help and support at this stage. Your relationship has ended, so she should understand that you have no responsibility for her situation now....It may sound insensitive, but in my opinion she really cannot have a new relationship as well as you as a good guy for "comforting" her. No, she cannot have both, she cannot sit on two chairs... If I were you, I would cut (eliminate or at least reduce) all contacts with her, you have the right to move on and seek happiness in your life. You are not obliged to do anything which you feel might halt your efforts to move on and live your own life. If she gets used to having two guys for different purposes in her life, it can just make things very complicated - for her as well as for you and the new guy...
Best wishes,
severin