hi folks, i really hope someone has got some ides to help. i've got maybe one chance to talk to her and convince her not to leave me, thats in a few days time. we were together over 8yrs, and i really messed it up. she's the best thing that ever has happened to me, but i forgot she's perfect and treated her badly (no cheating or that kinda stuff). she asked for space, now weve been apart over a month, we'll be meeting soon. at the moment we live 100's of miles apart. so i'm not feeling confident at all, we've had minimal contact but the vibes are not good. i need to show her i love her, so she might take me back. any ideas? please. cheers

Hiya Keighley

I am sorry that you are in this situation and understand how hard it for you, but you must try to see it from her point of view too that maybe she did need sometime to think things through and away from you was the only way to do this.

In saying that I would not push her but just talk to her be open and honest on how you feel and how much you miss her, tell her why you treated her badly and what you intend on doing to make it better but if you do that mean it from the bottom of your heart and you know the most important thing is to listen and when I say listen i mean truelly listen to what she is saying to you even if there is stuff you do not want to hear or accept.

Also if she chooses to be apart let her go and maybe ask for friendship but do not try to stop her, because if you truelly love someone and want whats best for them you will leave them go to live their own life

sorry if it is not what you wanted to hear but it is how i see it

bless you

summernights xxxx

whatever you do,do not try to fix the problems you have with sex ok? That's like putting a tiny band aid over a deep cut! Try to start fresh with
out confusing things with sexual intensity,& talk to her openly & honestly.
best wishes ok?

hi folks,
just to let you know how its goin after 39 days of 'space'. its killin me that i might lose her forever. i didnt cheat or anything like that. i was difficult to live with mostly. but i really have seen the light, i cant explain it, but its true. and i'm worried i may not be able to show her, so that if she does still have feelings for me, and could give it ago, that she might do it, if only i can prove it - and in a short tense space of time (we'll be meeting in nearly a week, i'll be there a few days too). thank you for replies. i'll take all the help i can get. the deadline is looming, and i'm gettin nervous. cos, after this, any occasions when we'd meet would have to be arranged cos we'll be so far apart. i love her so much, what can i do?

The question you have to ask yourself is if you can survive a long distance relationship. You may just be prolonging the agony. Any long distance relationship is going to be difficult without even incorporating the trust issues involved.

You are 40 days into a self torturing programme, possibly because she gave you the false hope of "space" which in reality is usually too nice to end it/too cowardly/seeing how a new relationship is working out. If it hadn't been this hope of reconciliation hanging over you then you would be feeling a lot better right now and on the road to recovery.

Anything which prolongs this uncertainty does not help you. You either need to make a clean break or get together properly, as in a relocation.

hi guys. thought i may as well let you know what happened. unfortunately it didnt go as i'd hoped it would. i told her i loved her, and was sorry for all the *** i put her through, and i would never ever make her feel those feelings again. i thought taking more time to get ourselves sorted and then see how we feel was a good idea. but she did not. she said, holding her hand over her heart as she spoke, that she didnt feel it here. so she didnt feel she needed or wanted to give it time. so, i still have the same problem - how to win back your ex, only now it seems like a tremendous mountain of a problem.
thanks for your support

Let it go. As I said up above, you are prolonging the hurt for yourself, you could have been over it by now.

Whats for you won't go by you, let it go and move on.

Good luck