So just wanted to know what people think. Been with my girlfor almost 2 years, the first 9 months were rough because my past. She hates that I liked a girl before I met her but that other girl was a major pain and I ended up hating her and got a myspce message saying she missed me, I talked to my other ex to see my kid, and some old AOL 2.0 friend I had since I was 15 was a huge issue too. Like I said that was the first 9 months of issues so I decided to just cut myself off and show her that I dont need to interact with these people and just studied and worked and chilled at home, I like life like this anyway. So in october I got a new job and the past 2 night were the first night I worked until like 3:30am (I work at a bar) and decided to get breakfast after work with a few co workers. The first night it was 2 guys and 1 girl, the second night 3 guys. I could tell she was a little irritated the first night but she always tells me its not good to not hang out with people and socialize. She does all the time, she goes out a lot with her friends and comes home anytime from 12am-5am and I stopped questioning her about it cause I trust her and she gets upset and tells me im trying to run her life if I get upset she comes home late. So the second night I went to get breakfast again this time with 3 guys and I let her know before I got off of work we were going again and she was texting me asking with who and if any girls were going yadda yadda the usual stuff. Anyway I got home about 5am and she was super upset and said i was being sketchy and was convinced that I was out having sex with some girl. And I kept telling her how I pretty much dont do anything ever and I go out 2 times to get breakfast with co workers after busting my ass for 9 hours and I get hell for it. She said its because i went "out" at 3:30, which was only because Work was done at 3:30 and I didnt go out like clubbing or drinking, we just ate food cause were all hungry. It got pretty heated (mostly her) Im pretty laid back and try to be calm and she got up and fully snapped and took a super hard smack to my face. I was like wow was that needed to be done? I told her how messed up it was and she continued to scream and yell and said "Do I need to stab you with a knife?". By this time I just walked away let her to herself in bed and slept on the couch. Her mother had to go home this morning and we were going to take her to the airport but I decided not to go cause Im pretty scared she may try to do something stupid. Basically she says Im sketchy and cant trust me but I dont do 1/100 the things she does and I think she just cant handle me being social but she needs to be really socal herself. Basically, to her, anyone I know is a skank or a sketchy guy. And anyone she hangs out with is fine and just her friend and theres nothing I can say about it. What should I do? I think this is out of hand.

***Edited by monitor to remove foul language***

Violence in a relationship is never acceptable. Don't matter whether it's done by the woman to the man or vice versa...or to each other. Its never ok and never justified. End of!

I agree totally with Seren.

It most certainly does seem that your girlfriend does have a rather major trust issue, or is generally over jealous, with this happening right from the very beginning of the relationship i do have to ask the question if her previous relationship she was cheated on by her partner, this could explain the trust issue if this is the case.

This kind of behaviour can not continue in your relationship as it will end up going on a downard spiral, you are entitled to your own social life and it does not seem that you are over doing anything with it to cause such great concern.

I would advise that you both need to sit down and talk this through in a relaxed enviroment and lay the cards on the table that you are not wanting to argue or cause issues but you want to talk things through with her about what is happening and how it is making you feel, you have already mentioned that you do not mind her having her social life and do not accuse her of anything when she goes out with friends.

You need to find the root cause of why she does not trust you when you go out, as i said already it may be trust issues from her previous relationship/s, for this relationship to work you need to both be honest with each other and if in fact she does have trust issues from previous relations it may be that she needs councelling to over come this, and you can advise her that you will support her in every way in over coming the trust issues.

As for the violence when she hit you she has over stepped the mark here and this will only push you away from her in the long run, it is a rather concerning also that she threatened to stab you with a knife and you need to speak about how this made you feel also, a counseller will be able to help in this area also.

The bottom line at the end of the day is that if this situation continues it will push you away from her and you will leave, this also needs to be made clear to her that she is at possible risk of losing you all together unless you can sort the situation out.

I wish you well in your relatonship and do hope that you can mange to sort this out once and for all.

Regards

Live

Em, does noone else think maybe she suspects him of cheating and overeacts sooo much through guilt?

I mean if she thinks its normal behaviour to be out until 5am with nothing untoward happening I doubt she would act like this.

However if she is out until 5am and behaving like a singleton.....

are you waiting till she stabs you? get out now! she has trust issues

"If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Sounds so sensible, doesn't it?

If this bit of common sense were practiced more often by women and men before their abusive relationship fully establishes, then there would be far less intimate partner violence.

Why do people choose not to factor in truths already revealed? Why do people turn their head and look the other way? Why do people say to themselves, what is isn't?

If you have ever been in an abusive relationship or if you are standing in the path of one developing, this article is for you.

Let's take a look at the underlying psychology between you and the reality of your circumstances.

1) You so want it to be as you fantasize it to be, more than anything else. So you may minimize behaviors that, under different circumstances, are obvious red flags. And to help you with this mind game with yourself, you embellish that which is "right on" and compensate for that which is not.

2) You think that what you have witnessed and experienced with this new partner is your "faulty take" (inaccurate perception) on the matter. In other words, it's your perception driven by your own problems. Inherent in this is your distrust in yourself and your inner knowing.

3) You think that, even if you spot something that's just not right, you can change it or get your desired partner to change it. This is a very dangerous expectation. It's a setup for you to become responsible for another person's behavior. It's an invitation to live in another person's business. And, as you probably know, when you're in someone else's business, who then is available to take care of yours? No one.

"If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." These simple little words could save you from the nightmare of domestic violence, if you know the signs of domestic abuse.