I began dating this man about 7 months ago, who was also seeing a woman he had been with for four years. He was very honest with me about her, and told me he was married along time and just doesn't want to exclusive. But after dating he told me one night that if he met that special "woman", he would probably want to be. Our relationship is very, very complex, we are swingers, which I have not problem with him being with other women, during our encounters, it's knowing he is still involved with this other woman. He sounds like he is not happy with her at all, but feels a certain obligation toward her, because she took him back when he was having a very hard time in his life. I've told him I will never ask him to choose, that I want him to make that decision, if he wants to. As time has gone on, I have fallin in love with him, he says he loves me too, but I think he is very conflicted about all of this, as I am as well. Any comments or advice on how to handle this situation is appreciated.

I would take him at his word when he said he didn't want to be exclusive!
Why do you have to make it complicated? Men are usually honest about
such things! He had the courage to admit it when he could have lied!
Learn how to love & respect yourself and you'll attract the love & the kind
of relationship you want to have.

thank you dianababy, i appreciate your comment. i am trying to accept that nothing is going to change and either i will live will it or need to find the strengh to move on. the only other thing i maybe would do, is let him know how i'm feeling, no beating aound the bush, and see what he decide.