Hello Everyone

I am going to explain my situation. I was with my very first boyfriend for one year and four months. We were every happy together. We saw each other everyday for that long. He always used to com to my house. We would do everything together. From going out to eat. To finding a job. He was my very best friend. After a fight with my parents I decided to move out of my house with him. My parent knew it wasn't going to last. But I knew I loved him more than anything. He was my first love. I enjoyed every minute of living with him. And he did too. We both had jobs. We made more than enough money to keep ontop with our bills. But then after awhile we lost our jobs. Thing started to get real hard. He got another job. Helped with the bills for awhile. But then he lost that job too. I got unemployment but didn't help for long. So I talked to my brother on myspace. My parents convinced me to come home so I did.

I left to live with my parents. He was heart broken.We were consider broken up then. He begged me to come back. But I didn't. I hung out with him a couple times. But my parents didn't really like me hanging out with him. I was also at that time enjoying my space. Not having a boyfriend. But that didn't last so long. When I started to miss him. After not talking to him for like a month. He found someone new. I started messaging him on facebook. On the chat we met on. He sent me this:

-No. You're too late. Understand you've kicked me down as far as I've ever been, and seemed to enjoy it. I wasn't looking for anyone else in all honesty, it just happened. I'm happy right now, for the first time in forever I feel wanted and cared about. I'm not gonna let your jealousy and selfishness ruin that for me. It's just not fair. I'm sorry, I've moved on. This relationship is in no way directed towards you.-

I was heartbroken that he found someone else. I tried begging for him back. But it didn't work. He was happy with that new girl. So I left him alone.. I tried to stop thinking about him and everything. Finally one day he started talking to me again. He told that his girl broke up with him. 2 weeks later I got a text. Saying that he missed me. So I asked him to hang out with me. So he did. We had a really great time. He kissed me before I left. He says he loves me and misses me. And that he want to be together. He just doesn't know how it will work out. Since everything still complicated. I was so confused. I didn't know if he wanted me back. Couple days later. He messages me on myspace.k asking to hang out with. So he did. We snuck in our old apt and had sex. I told him it wasn't a good idea. At first I thought he wanted me back. But then he said don't tell anyone we are hanging out. The next day he messages me on myspace again. Saying are we chillin today. So we do. My mom let's him in the house. And we have sex again. Everything feels like it back to normal.

So yeserday. I ask him to chill. He says it not a good idea to hang everyday. He says he confused. And he doesn't know what to do. Everytime I try talking about it. He gets upset. He says he needs time. But I noticed he talks to girls on myspace. I'm just scared he will find someoen better. Yet he tells me he not looking for anyone. He just a loner.

You poor thing!!

Your first love is always the hardest one to get over. It seems that the harder life got when you both moved in together, the more it affected your relationship - which is a good indication if you decide to move into together again.... that is will it all happen to you again ie..when the tough gets going.

I STRONGLY suggest that you be wary of your ex asking you for sex. If he is telling you he still loves you - then ask him for a commitment before having ANY sexual intimacy.

In the meantime, have you got any girlfriends who can take you out to meet some new men?

You sound young, and have your whole life ahead of yourself .... you've got a whole world of men out there who are looking for someone like you. You'll have your heart opened again. I promise!!

Take good care of yourself

Trilergy x

What you should do is find another boyfriend, you do NOT "need" him in your life at all. If you try to change your behavior when you did nothing wrong just to please him, you will find yourself trying to do that for the rest of the time you are together, and failing. You will never be able to "change" enough to suit him, especially since he would have to change to make this relationship work. While you might think he is your "boyfriend" he obviously does not. This is called abuse and you should not put up with it, nor attempt to change yourself in any way. Realize you have made a mistake thinking he is necessary for your happiness and move on with your life. Only you are responsible for your own happiness and this guy obviously does not care about you at all. If you stay with him it will only get worse with time. Good luck.

The first is always the hardest just like Trilergy said. Trust us, time will heal all wounds, even a broken heart.