Hi. I'm a single 24 year old male who has kind of gotten on a rough start to the dating world.

I love women and I'm physically attracted to them, but every time I try to make an emotional bond with one, I get lost. We somehow get disconnected as if we're from completely different worlds.

In a date there is all this pressure to be your best, impress the other and the attention is all female focussed. Yes you pour out your heart to the girl, yes you fall for her but when do we ever get some of that attention we offer generously in return. How can a man keep himself motivated in perusing a woman, or women for that matter when they're simply not intimately responsive.

I'm getting very frustrated with this and I'm starting to think the only solution might be to experiment with a relationship with one of my male peers.

I'm not physically attracted to men, but all of my emotional needs seem to be at peace when I'm with men. As for the women I'm physically attracted to, emotionally they'd leave me in the cold any day. You'll agree that most women are out searching for relationships where they can benefit, rather than give unlike many men.

In short I guess I'm sexually confused and in need of some advice. Are my needs abnormal for a heterosexual male and therefore I'm simply failing to accept my gay nature, or are there just no women out there who just want to fall in love and nothing more.

I am sure that the questions you are asking have been asked by others thousands of times before, millions of times beforebut the answer only comes with experience. There are people out there who love and are loving, you will find them. If the women to whom you are attracted to leaves you feeling cold and lonely, why are you attracted to them? What is it that is making them attractive in the first place? Often we seek in others a mirror of ourselves and sometimes we run from that too. You have many things to think about with this but as I said right at the start of my reply, experience is the best teacher.


Kind regards

Sue

Hi all. I ran into this site as I was looking for answers and advice. My 15 year old daughter has her little heart dead set on this young man of 17. He seems like a nice boy, but he has done "things" 2 years ago with another girl until they were found by her parents. I am trying to take everything into consideration about him. He is very responsible, he has a good job, along with being a senior in high school. I am close friends with his aunt and uncle. (how I found out about his little "deal")

What I want to know is.

*What do you think?

*What would you do in my situation?

*Should I not alow them to go out because of his past?

*Should I even let her call him?

*Should I talk to his parents?

*Or should me and my husband talk to him?

Thanks all, any advice would be so wondeful
Reply With Quote

YasminTiara wrote:

Hi all. I ran into this site as I was looking for answers and advice. My 15 year old daughter has her little heart dead set on this young man of 17. He seems like a nice boy, but he has done "things" 2 years ago with another girl until they were found by her parents. I am trying to take everything into consideration about him. He is very responsible, he has a good job, along with being a senior in high school. I am close friends with his aunt and uncle. (how I found out about his little "deal") What I want to know is. *What do you think? *What would you do in my situation? *Should I not alow them to go out because of his past? *Should I even let her call him? *Should I talk to his parents? *Or should me and my husband talk to him? Thanks all, any advice would be so wondeful Reply With Quote

Well this is not as bad as you think. This is a decent guy. Sadly, considering the youth of today, she does NOT have a good pool of guys to choose from. This guy is a winner. However, the problem is the sex. The fact that he is already active, is your biggest concern. Now, that he has had a taste of sex, surely he will want to continue doing so. I am not convinced he can control his urges with him being so young. This will put your daughter in a bad position. I do not know this guy, but what frightens me is that he may convince her that he loves her, and that having sex with him is okay. I don't know your daughter, but she may feel that she has to have sex with him to keep him. Another thing I noticed is that you said she has her heart set on him. Then, the more you try to keep her away from him, the more she will want to be with him. It is just in a teen's nature to do so. If she is already that stuck on him, then trying to force them apart will truly devastate her and turn her against you all as parents. I think it would be a good idea to talk to him along with his parents. Let them know that you are trusting him to respect your daughter and treat her right. She is too young to be sexually involved, but she does need the experience of dating, so that she will know how to handle herself later in life. I will tell you from experience that as a young girl going off to college with NO dating experience whatsoever renders you an easy prey. Guys can "sniff" that out. Without knowing how to handle herself, she won't have a fair chance IF she has fallen prey to the wrong guy. Define the goals of the relationship and establish boundaries. Let them both know, along with his parents, what's acceptable and what's not acceptable with your daughter. If she cannot see him during the week and/or only on weekends, set the standard. Let them know what her curfew is. They do not need to be with each too much. This will minimize the chances of her becoming involved with him sexually. Be very clear about the days and times they can go on dates, but it should not be excessive. If she loses her head over him, then surely her grades and chores around the house will take the back burner. She needs a balance. Engage them in the conversation as well, and allow them to share their views. I wish you all the best![/b]

Yes I agree with the dating trouble occurs normally. But the best way to handle it to go on date without any tension. You show your originality and dont try to pretend something. You should be confident about you.

Sounds like you are trying too hard and expecting too much too soon.

The thing is, as men and women -as people - we want different things out of relaitonships. Sounds like you are wanting a connection from those who do not. Why? Could be a lot of reasons, could be you are dating people who are not ready, you may be expecting too much too soon, or maybe you don't come across in the right way to the people you are interested in. It could be a host of things.

I bet if you get involved in your life - busy with building your dreams, and focused less on meeting the right person, the situation would find you. If you let things happen naturally, I bet it would be more mutual. I have dated ALOT and found that the best situations came when least expected and when I stopped trying to make it happen. Also when I found the right person, it was easy - I didn't have feelings of is this MUTUAL? It was. It was obvious it was mutual and I felt as much about him as he felt about me - for the first time- equally mutual. That answers itself and it comes when it's time. The rest - it's just practice.