Im in a little predicament. First let me give you a lowdown of myself, and my gf's personality. My gf had a accident a few years ago involving cars. She has a little memory issues, but its not that bad unless shes really tired or exhausted. She is a little on the slow side but thats fine with me cause there are so many things I love about her. Myself, I am more of a laid back, really happy kind of guy that just makes everyone around me happy, despite all the hard things I've gone through in my life. I almost died of cancer, survived daily abuse and neglect but thats a different story. Both my gf and myself met through a mutual friend, and hit it right off, we had so many things in common, and just fit together as a couple great. Both similar family backgrounds, abuse, neglect, pain, etc and both wanted to change that pattern and have our own families made the right way. I know both myself and my gf's views on cheating is that it is worse then basically anything you could do to someone. However before I was dating her, she was a party girl, you know like dancing for fun, dating a few random ppl, stuff like that. Im more of a conservative person, like to just be with one person that I fall in love for the right reason. Anyway, before meeting me my gf was suicidal and had even attempted suicide. Since dating me, she no longer is on her anti-depressants, and has no want or desire to die at all. So obviously I make her happy, I know I do, thats just one of my personalities. Well recently I had to move because of college and won't be able to see her for a year or so, yet we kept the relationship online because we both plan on getting married to each other after I finish my m.d.. Well, recently on facebook, some person became her friend, and on one of their posts they were harmlessly flirting and getting to know each other, I joined in on the conversation and it was quite the funny convo, however, towards the end of that said conversation, the new guy took the flirting to far in my opinion and was basically wagging his dick in my gf's face. I told him to back off and show a little respect and he got upset, said he wasn't doing anything, and then my gf got upset cause she thought I was ruining her fun. I was just doing what I thought a bf was supposed to do, stand up for his gf's honor/dignity. For the rest of that day, and the next, my gf wouldn't respond to my emails, texts, or even on the phone. She was thinking about leaving me she said. The next day, we resolved the argument and I told her how I had felt, and why I did what I did, and she understood me. She was also talking to a few of our close friends and got their point of view, they all supported me. Well, since this happened, I noticed even thou she still says she loves me, and talks to me, I just noticed something was off, and then she told me, she was talking to that guy, and he got a sexual image stuck in her head. Now in our relationship we believe in telling the other person anything and not hiding anything at all, so I knew it must have just been joking. We also have each others passwords for things like msn, facebook, etc. So I decided to log onto her facebook. The moment I did, this guy that started this argument logged on and sent a message. I ignored it, went to private message history and read what the two had been talking about. I saw that the chat had begun the day after the fight. Before she talked to me. He was basically persuading her to leave me, because he used things like, wow hes a jealous type, not good material, or yeah thats not good boyfriend material, then just full force flirting, then eventually they got sexual, and had cyber sex. Now I know cyber sex isn't the real thing, but if you do it with emotion, isn't it like the real thing? Now she hasn't woke up yet, but I'm still bothered by this, and in fact I want to throw up and basically im doubting my self and my relationship. Is it my fault, did I do something wrong, why would she cheat on me, is it because im not there with her? Why why why? Any advice you guys have would be greatly appreciated.

thanks
-josh

The long and the short of it is that if you two are meant to be together you will be and if not…

In my experience long separations cause problems. There is no way around it. Working to keep a relationship going at the best of times can be a struggle. Being forced to be apart makes having a relationship very difficult.

My suggestion would be for you both to take a break and get on with your own life. You can stay in touch but allow each other the freedom to decide for yourselves if you want to, and are willing to, wait for the other person.